mending mariska

mijn concentratie is stuk / my focus is broken

step 1: making a mind-map to sort out the meanings and connotations of these words

exercise one: mapping mending methods

step 2: I showed step one to my friend and we got talking. "what is currently broken in your life?" she asked.
I had complained to her that I couldn't focus that very afternoon so I decided it would be the perfect thing to mend. I made another mind-map of the thoughts that come to my head when I think of my lack of focus.

step 3: head empty

<-- the spongebob meme is where
my idea came from

step 4: head ordered!

exercise two: making my mending videos

here’s a book I bought in attempt to (you guessed it!) get my focus back. and yes, this is one of those books that I’ve bought and then haven’t read yet. I opened it on a random page and read what was written there.

which was this! the words ‘attentional space’ caught my eye. I looked around my room and found that the place I work, sleep, and generally spend most of my time in, is a very attention-demanding place. that’s because of the images. sometimes I think it’s too much but I really like it at the same time. it’s like a visual representation of my brain somehow. always on display. always on and always asking for my attention.

I wanted to create a space in my room and therefore in my mind where all of this is on hold. it exists alongside everything else. looking up at it over my laptop screen reminds me that I have the opportunity to pause. at quick glance, this simple blank square serves as a reminder.

in this video I introduce you to the space I am in. I think there’s quite some stuff to see in this part of the video. it then continues on into a How-To video: How To Make An Empty Space.

like I said at quick glance, this blank square serves as a reminder to me but with a long look, it transforms into a challenge for me. which is what this video is to me. like meditation, it requires your full attention to keep looking and not have your eyes wander off. mine definitely want to do that

the blank square in its full glory

while this idea certainly didn’t spark from a Spongebob episode like in exercise one,
it did remind me of one ;)